Daily Journal
April 6/10
Okay – Writing my dreams since I have nothing else to say about anything.
Covered in slimy oil. Oil everywhere, dressed in some kind of horrific mask, so is everyone else. Very dark, the entire dream. The house and the outside of it are covered with shredded cloth, dirty shredded cloth. Distorted people stumble about seemingly lost; all wearing masks and covered in oily slim. Oily slime is everywhere.
I go inside and there are hallways lots of hallways, slim and oily copver the shredded cloth that hangs from everything. I walk through it all absolutely unafraid. I come upon a monster hideous person, masked and screaming something, reminds me of ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ guy. It doesn’t faze me in the least. I walk up to him and dismiss him like he doesn’t exit, and sudenly he dosen’t. I walk past where he stood and find myself in a bedroom, my wife lying the bed asking me when we will get out – If I am going to get her out. I push back the tangled and hanging slimmed cloths and tell her yes. We are leaving , we are leaving now, and with that I step her out of the bed and the dream ends.
March 2/10
I am writing nothing. I have written nothing in 4 weeks. I am locked out. I do not like this feeling. Time to quit this futureless endeavour and enjoy life? Never been so seriously down before. Two WIPs and not a word to say to either of them.
February 23/10
Been gone for two weeks. Needed to get away. Did nothing. Feel really good about it. Went to good workshop by Gwyn Sheltema. Now I have to get it together and do some substantive editing on ‘Haida’ also now known as ‘Undercover’. Seems to be two stories in there. Need help with this because I love all the characters and storylines but it is too big and too unwieldy for someone like me.
Any help out there? Nope? Yep, story of my life – Lone again, naturally…
February 5/10
I have been working on ‘Haida Gwaii’ and have dicovered that I am writing another story inside that one. Decision has been made. ‘Haida Gwaii’ will end up about 40,000 words and I will make a new start on this other strange stuff that seems to have worked its way into ‘Haida GWaii’. Not sure what it is but I will set it aside and finish up Haida Gwaii before going after this one. Hope it works out.
This means I have 3 stories on the go and I need to finish one of them. My commitment to February.
Also,this writer is going away for a holiday!
January 25/10
I’ve been absent from my journal for a few days (against my committment to enter every day). I know the masses are out there just dying for my next entry. Did go to a workshop last night. It was very good, nobody told me to get the hell out, only real writers allowed. The presenters are impressive people; talented, kind and committed.
January 15/10
Glad I joined WCDR. I can no longer hide, and that is a gentle place.
January 13/10
Supposed to be in New York developing my new character, Carmen, mafioso man, but instead spent the day out looking for a new car. Now it’s 7:30 pm and I just don’t have the eneergy for Carmen or to figure out how Michael Christian eludes him. Oh well, will try. No comments, again, as usual. one day I will remember these days of four walls and only my imagination and me.
January 11/10
I guess I have to keep relearning that when the tank is empty it is like the dark before the dawn. And so, as the sun rises today and, “Haida Gwai’ is being moved from my short story file to a Novel file all its’ own. I am accepting the fact that this is going to grow – And I hope I am up to the growing pains. Anyone out there who wants to support me in this, feel free.
January 10/10
Nothing happened. A truly momentous day? Is this the day I take the trwo unfinished manuscripts and burn them? Somebody stop me. no, today is confession day – I actually don’t like much of what I write. I wish I could have felling and empathy and insight like so many others but I don’t seem to be that guy. I seem to write the world as I see it. Shame it is only me.
January 7/10
I am finding that ‘Haida Gwaii’ like, ‘Last Of The Good Guys’ ends up being written like a picture, add this, take this out, colour this over. It seems like a never ending work in progress sometimes. I am learning to relax and enjoy the experience. If I can’t enjoy it, why do it?
January 6/10
I am attempting to insert some humour into my blog. I am virtually illiterate but am learning. Today I will ignore ‘Haida Gwai’ and try to get my humour page set up. I hope I don’t have to bother you about this Rich.
JANUARY 5/2010
I said I would do a journal entry every day and so here is today, and of course it is about yesterday (It’s okay – I confuse myself). Yesterday was a good day, worked on a new piece ‘Haida Gwai’. I have a spiritual part in it as opposed to usual blood, mayhem and death theme that seems to be a major part of my writing. I felt much better with a ‘see the light shining’ side to my writing. I am glad for that, thanks to God.
January 04/10
Today I begin a daily journal entry. Why? I’m not sure but I think it will make me go to my site every day and that is a positive. What exactly I will put in here is still a mystery to me.
So, let it begin. Why do I write? I ask myself that question a thousand times since I began some decades ago. I am most certainly not successful. I don’t particularly like the things I write. I don’t particularly think I am a good writer. I have written in different styles and genres, none of which particularly thrills me.
What am I working on now, I ask myself?
1/I have a first draft (70,000 words) of a historical fiction based on the 1990-92 war in Yugoslavia (Bosnia to be exact). I have had to put it away since it was killing me.
2/Gone to rewriting some badly overwritten material from 20 years ago. I have managed to get that from 145 pages to 23. Don’t particularly like what I have there either.
3/A short story (Lillith) which I am trying to re-edit.
That’s it, every day I wish I had never had the notion. Stay tuned for more depression tomorrow.
